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Friday, March 30, 2012


I am 54 years old.  I thought only KIDS got tonsillitis, but I have it.  And a voice that rivals Minnie Mouse.  The doctor put me on an antibiotic (5 days' supply) yesterday, and I already feel considerably better.

Am going to NY to visit my mom and friends sometime this weekend, either tomorrow or Sunday.  I may wait until Sunday just so that I can feel a little better than I do right now.  That, and because I've felt lousy all week, I haven't seen Whit since Sunday!  I really want to spend some time with him since I'm going to be gone for a week or so. 

It's really hard to be a post-surgical patient with tonsillitis!  All I want is ice cream (which I can't eat). When I went to the doctor's office yesterday, the receptionist took note of my Elton John t-shirt, and she and I struck up a conversation.  When I was done, we finished the conversation and I showed her photos I took at the concert as well as the old photo of me 104 pounds ago.  She made me show the photo to all the women in the office, then retook my photo for my file!  She said, "You don't look anything at all like this old photo--it's time to update!"

It was a great compliment; had I not felt so lousy, I would have FLOATED out the door!  Not sure how many posts I'll get out while I'm in NY, but keep checking back!  Have a FABULOUS Friday! (And Saturday, Sunday, Monday...)

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Losing Weight v Exercising...

I saw this photo on a former student's Facebook page today and had to steal it for today's topic.

I haven't found the time to exercise like I should, so I can TOTALLY relate to this poster!  I definitely look much better in clothes--naked, not so much.  Of course, Whit hasn't complained, but I'm well aware of the loose flabby skin that is a direct result of losing more than 100 pounds!  I want to look better naked, too, so I think it's time to MAKE time for exercise!  I love the pool--I think going back to the Y is my best bet, so starting April 1 (well, not April 1st, because I'll be in NY, but April 9th, the Monday after Easter), I'm going to rejoin the Y.  Even if I'm just swimming, I'll be using muscles that I'm not using day to day!

What about you?  Do you have a fitness routine?  What do you do to make working out less "work" and more "fun"?  They say if you can do anything for three weeks--exercise, diet, quit smoking, etc--you can master it and make it a habit.  One of my favorite sayings of all time is a Spanish proverb, "Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables."

I've got to work on making exercise a CABLE in my life.  Have a wonderful Wednesday!

PS:  I know I'll NEVER look like the model in the photograph, but if you can, more power to you!!!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


Carnie Wilson scares the crap out of me.  She does.  I was going to blog about her last week when the news first broke that she had had lap band surgery, but I chickened out.  I HATE reading stories like hers.  For those of you who don't know who she is, Carnie is the 43-year-old daughter of Beach Boys musician, Brian Wilson and one of the founding members of the girl group, Wilson Phillips.  

And, in 1999, she had gastric bypass surgery.  And since that time, she has gained back two-thirds of the weight she originally lost.  (At least that's what she's admitting to...)  She has been on Celebrity Fit-Club, has had a talk show where she attacked the problem of obesity, and last week, she admitted that she has had lap band surgery to try to help her lose the weight--again.

Terrified really doesn't begin to do justice to the fear in my heart when I see stories like hers.  First of all, it gives credence to all those naysayers who came forward when I first had the surgery to say "I know so-and-so had that surgery, and she gained back ALL her weight."  Second, and more terrifying, is the thought that if she, with all her available resources (money for a personal trainer, personal chef, etc), isn't able to be successful with this surgery, whatever will happen to ME?

Back at the beginning of this journey, I posted that I believe that obesity is more a symptom than an actual disease, and I still believe that.  I think that most obese people are hiding, self-protecting, seeking comfort in food that they can't find by other means.  Perhaps Ms. Wilson, whose father has never made an attempt to hide his drug addiction, has an addictive personality.  Perhaps she's never dealt with the emotional issues that make her eat in the first place. Perhaps...

I want to believe that.  I need to believe that.  I need to believe that what separates me and Carnie Wilson is that I have dealt with the emotional issues that caused me to pack on the pounds in the first place.  I hope and pray that's what separates us.  I hope and pray that this weight will continue to come off--although it is slow now, I've lost 104 pounds--and STAY off.  Without hope, what do we have?

Have a terrific Tuesday, everyone, and I'll try NOT to be terrified!!

Monday, March 26, 2012

Just Another Manic Monday!

I had a great weekend, even with a rocky Saturday.  Whit talked to his daughter, who apparently felt bad enough to invite me to dinner.  I'm not feeling well--my allergies are kicked my butt--so I didn't go for dinner, but he and I had some lunch while the girls went to church, then we picked them up and went to home and played on the Wii.  It was a fun, relaxing two hours, and it allowed me to spend some time with the 16-year-old who was actually NICE to me.

Today, I assigned seats to the mean girls' class--I moved everyone around, and they complained a LOT, so I'm pretty happy with the results!  lol! We have one more week of school then I'm going home for the break.  Yay!  I am SO ready to take this vacation, although gas prices are KILLING me!  (And they're much higher in NY than they are here, so...)

Still, it will be great to see my mom and my friends and my Aunt Rosie and Uncle Chuck!  It's Monday--hope yours isn't TOO manic!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Two Movies and a Problem...

Saturday afternoon, Whit and I met at Red Lobster, where we shared a "create-your-own" lunch with clam strips and shrimp scampi, both of which were delicious.  I had two shrimp and about 12 clams--I pulled most of the breading off of them but I don't care for steamed clams, so fried is the only way I eat them!  I also had one of their amazing Cheddar Bay biscuits and a couple bites of baked potato.  It was delicious and satisfying.  After lunch, we met Whit's youngest two daughters at the movie theatre to see The Lorax.  It was wonderful--funny and poignant with a great message about ecology and conserving natural resources.  Whit's youngest proclaimed it her new "favorite movie of all time", at which he and I both laughed because her "favorite movie of all time" changes often!

The 16-year-old doesn't seem to like me very much; in fact, I think she resents my very presence.  I told Whit that I will just "stay away" every other weekend when he's got the girls, but he said "no" to that idea.  Still, I don't know what to do about truth, I don't want to come between him and her nor do I want to struggle with another teenager.  I have one class of "mean girls" that I have to deal with Monday through Friday; I honestly cannot handle dealing with another mean girl on the weekend! After the movie, I took Whit and the girls back to his car (we had been at Fresh Market when we found out the girls were available to meet us at the movies) and headed for home in tears.  Instead of going home, I went back to the movie theatre and saw The Hunger Games.  I finished the first book on Thursday, and while I had a hard time getting into it, once it got good, it got VERY good.  The movie left out a few key details, but overall, it was a very good book-to-movie adaptation!  After the movie, I went and picked up Thai food and drove over to Whit's house--the girls were at a meeting and then planned on going to a birthday party.  

He and I talked about my feelings--and he agrees that she has been rude to me, but he feels that perhaps I'm hypersensitive to it given the problems I've had with my class of mean girls.  And he's probably right, but she STILL is treating me rudely!  And I STILL don't want to deal with it.  But worse than that, I don't know HOW to deal with it.

Suggestions, anyone?  I told Whit that I'd walk away if it would help.  He told me, "no way" but I also don't want to be the cause of any trouble between him and her, either!

Have a serene Sunday, folks...I'm hoping to do the same.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

A Roller Coaster?

Yesterday, in relation to a poem we were discussing in class, I asked my seniors if one can be in love with two people at the same time.  (The poem is "On Loving Two Equally" by Aphra Behn, and it's satirical.)  In order to fully discuss the situation, I found that we first had to talk about the difference between "being in love" and "loving".

Their responses were interesting, and a couple of my students said something pretty deep--that love grows and stays whereas "in love" is transitory.  Well, they didn't use the word "transitory", but you get the picture.  Most of my students, though, thought that being IN love is only for romantic love and "loving" someone means in a platonic way, the way you love your dog or your parents.

Of course they asked my opinion, and I shared it, but only after careful consideration.  I think that being "in love" is that "butterflies-in-the-stomach, I-miss-you-when-you're-gone, can't-get-enough" feeling at the beginning of a relationship.  If we're lucky, it morphs into love--which is that "yeah-you're-stinky-sometimes" and "sometimes-you-make-me-so-mad-but-I-still-value-you-as-a-person-in-my-life" feeling. 

Right now, I'm in love with Whit, but I definitely see signs that it's morphing into love.  The starry eyes are nice, but I see him (and myself) clearly most times we're together.  I think that too many people walk away from a relationship (or marriage) when the "in love" feelings change.  But think of those feelings as a roller coaster. Would you REALLY want to be on a roller coaster 24/7?  Of course not.  Know that a relationship--a good relationship--is the park around the roller coaster.  Yes, while on the ride you had a blast.  You laughed and screamed, but you were also very glad to be back on solid ground when it was over.  Don't walk away from the amusement park (the relationship) completely...instead, go get a snack.  Or walk on the midway.  The roller coaster will be there the next time you want to take the ride, IF you remember how to find your way back to it!

Have a thoughtful Thursday, everyone!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Thai One On!

Tuesday evening, I picked up Thai food and took it to Whit's house.  The restaurant is one that I've patronized for years, to the point where I'm known by name!  The owner/manager saw me and said, "I didn't even recognize you! You look completely different!"  She usually works at their other location, so she hasn't seen me for a few months.  I laughed and agreed with her--I'm really surprised when I look at old photos these days!

I have to start working out again.  I love spending time with Whit, but the truth is I haven't worked out much since we've been going out!  I need to make some time to do so, though, because as I lose the weight, I'm getting super flabby with loose skin!  I know that the loose skin isn't going to go away by itself, but I certainly CAN tighten up the muscles beneath the skin!  I'm so grateful that my face isn't saggy at all!  I attribute my good skin to all the water I've drunk for all these years.  I've always been a water drinker--since I was a teen--and I think that, combined with the fact that I've never smoked and I try to stay out of too much sun, has left me with younger looking/acting skin!

The other day, I bought "stretch cords", also called resistance bands, to work out at home/school a little until I get back in the pool!  When I get back from my spring break, I'm going to rejoin the Y so I can swim at least!  I love the water, and the resistance of the water is such that it doesn't bother my knees.

It's Wednesday, everyone!  Have a wonderful one and ease on over that hump!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Optimist or Pessimist?

Monday evening I attended a Student Appreciation Dinner sponsored by the Optimist Club in Rocky Mount.  One of my students asked if I would be her teacher representative, and of course I was flattered and said yes!

Dinner was pork chops (with fried chicken tenders for those people who don't eat pork) with potato salad and green beans.  I was "allowed" two pork chops but only took one with a small scoop of beans and a small scoop of potato salad.  The pork chop was thin--and therefore a bit tough, but it had a very good flavor, and after trimming the fat, I ate the entire thing!

Being at a dinner with a group of people who call themselves "Optimists", I got to thinking about the difference between optimists, pessimists and realists.  One joke circulating on the internet shows a yellow post-it with a note: "Dear Optimist and Pessimist:  While you were arguing whether the glass was actually half full or half empty, I drank your water. Yours truly, the Realist."

I believe the glass is half full, but I definitely didn't always think that way.  Sometimes I find myself going back to my "old ways" of thinking, but generally speaking, I try to put a positive spin on anything that comes up in life.  Being an optimist is easy if you count your blessings rather than your shortcomings!

And me?  I'm VERY blessed...and I definitely spend more time smiling these days.  Why not?  Life is hard for everyone, but we have a very short time on earth--so we should make the best of it!  So...are you an optimist?  A pessimist?  (I happen to think that so-called realists are pessimists in nicer clothing! lol)  Start looking at your glass as half full.  You'll be surprised how much further the water will go when you do so!  Have a TERRIFIC Tuesday!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Monday, Monday!

I had a great weekend. Elton John was amazing--the man is almost 65 years old, and yet he performed for nearly three hours!  We had so much fun!  First we had dinner at The Twisted Fork in Raleigh--and it was amazing.  Whit and I shared the ribs--a half rack that took up the entire plate with sweet potato fries.  Delicious.  We also had dessert!  Yeah, I know, but I think as long as I limit myself it's okay.  I had about four spoonfuls of peanut butter cheesecake--it was amazing!

On Saturday morning, we went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast, where I had one pancake.  Unfortunately, I had it with REAL syrup because I don't like the chemicals in sugar-free anything!  Cracker Barrel serves its syrup in tiny, warmed bottles.  I used half of the bottle--and had the dreaded dumping syndrome as a result!  :-(  Whit had to stop at a gas station for me so I could run into the ladies' room, and I barely made it home after that.  Dumping syndrome is what happens after ingesting sugar--I guess it works especially quickly on an empty stomach.  Heart palpitations, cold sweats, diarrhea...all the symptoms are vile, vile, vile!  Afterward, I felt like a dishrag, so I slept for hours!

Sunday, we went to the IMAX and saw two documentaries--we see them for free with our Power Passes.  They were both excellent, but the first one was incredible!  Under the Sea was filmed in 3-D and it was so amazing!  They focused on a reef in Indonesia and on the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, where the sea life is unlike that of anywhere else in the world.  It was beautiful and truly fascinating.  The 3-D at IMAX is incredible on its own, but add the gorgeous creatures from deep in the sea and WOW!  We both loved it.

After the movie, we went to pick up Whit's sister, Mary, at the airport and then took her out to lunch at The Twisted Fork.  (It's definitely my new favorite restaurant!)  She was lovely, and once we got her back to Whit's house, I also met his mother.  She was very sweet, and I loved meeting her!  She lives down near the beach, and she's invited me to visit!  I am crazy in love with this man!  And I'm truly blessed that he loves me, too!

It's Monday--have a wonderful day! 

Here's a new picture: my face keeps getting thinner, I think.  (Oh, and even with dessert, I lost 3 more pounds! Like I said, everything in moderation!)

Friday, March 16, 2012

Finally Friday!

Tonight is the Elton John concert! I'm so excited!  Whit and I are going to dinner at The Twisted Fork in Raleigh and then to the concert.  It's also the last day of the "six weeks" I had asked Whit to give our relationship back when he kept trying to break up with me because he was concerned that we were getting too serious too fast.

Well...he's teased me that I've been leading him on just long enough to get him to this point, but the truth is, in the last six weeks, we've become remarkably close--and have fallen deeply in love. When it's "right", it's RIGHT!  He's such a wonderful man that I considered myself the luckiest woman in the world!

Last night, I had a massage.  If you've never indulged in this fabulous practice, you need to do so!  I was so relaxed afterward!  I met Whit for dinner at Ribeye's, where he had the grilled chicken, and I ordered the grilled pork chop.  We cut them in half and switched!  I ate most of the chicken, but brought home the half pork chop and half of my baked potato for lunch today!

I probably won't post tomorrow because we'll get home late from the concert!  Have a friendly, freaky, funky Friday!  (And, as always, thank you for reading!)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

A Beautiful Day and a Revelation!

It was 86 here in NC yesterday.  Spring has sprung! Yay!  Other than hating Daylight Savings Time, I absolutely love spring.  In addition to the warmer weather, everything is green and new.  I told Whit's youngest daughter that I love seeing a newly plowed field, because it's so filled with promise and possibilities! 

Well, I did pay a little for the cake indulgence, but I don't care--it was worth it!  Although I didn't eat much of it, that cake taught me a valuable lesson! I need to indulge a little now and then.  I never would have eaten only a couple bites in the past, but living with this surgically reduced stomach size has taught me that moderation is the way to go!  And rather than craving something and feeling deprived, I can enjoy a little something delicious without going overboard.  I honestly don't think food has tasted that good to me since the surgery--unless you count that reduced-sugar "light" grape juice that I drank the second week following surgery!

I saw a former student yesterday afternoon who went on and on about how "terrific" I look.  I must admit again that I don't get tired of hearing it--at all.  She also said, "I love Whit!".  She hasn't met him in person--she's just decided that she loves him because he has made me so happy!  (And she's garnered that information from my Facebook page!)  I agreed with her that he's pretty wonderful, and then she said, "I'm so glad because you deserve to be happy."

I've had a lot of people tell me that recently, but I don't think I believed it immediately.  I truly am beginning to believe it, though!  In the three years I was with James, no one told me that we were a good looking couple (I hear that all the time now about Whit and me), nor did anyone tell me I looked happy.  (I wish I had a dollar for every time someone's told me that--I could buy a new outfit!)  But I guess the reason I look happy now is because I truly am happy--happy with myself and oh, so very happy with Whit!!

And now for the revelation.  After losing 100 pounds, giving myself a pedicure is MUCH easier!  Ha, ha!  It's funny that I hadn't thought about it at all, but since the weather is so nice, it's time to break out my Birkenstock sandals, so I had to polish up the toes.  I was truly stunned at how much easier it was to do! 

It's Thursday!  Not sure what I'm wearing to work in this lovely weather other than my black Birkenstock sandals but you can be sure I'm rocking pretty red toenails!  Have a wonderful day! (And YOU deserve to be happy, too!  Make it happen!)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

A Little Indulgence and Some TLC

Tuesday night I met Whit for dinner. I've been experiencing some odd symptoms recently--irritability, aching, cramping, weird food cravings.  Now before you draw some weird conclusion, I haven't had my period in nearly 2 yrs, so I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant.  But I do think I'm having hormone surges, which cause all of the symptoms I'm suffering!

I was craving a hamburger, so we went to Cheddar's in Greenville. Their kids' burger is small, but I still only managed about half of it (I didn't eat half of the bun--maybe a third of it).  Whit ordered a burger as well, and since mine came with fries, he didn't order any sides.  Instead, I gave him all my fries except for five or six.  We then ordered dessert!  I never order dessert, but we ordered this ridiculously decadent "hot fudge sundae cake" which was an enormous wedge of chocolate cake covered with hot fudge, two scoops of vanilla ice cream (which we got on the side), and sprinkled with chopped peanuts.  Amazing.  I ate about four--maybe five--small spoonfuls...and it was delicious!  It may make me sick but I don't even care!  I didn't eat that much of it--between the two of us, we ate about a third of the cake, and Whit took the rest home for the girls.  I had a taste of the ice cream, but he ate most of that, too. 

After dinner, we went back to Whit's place to watch Jeopardy.  My knees have been really bothering me, so Whit applied Ben-Gay to them for me, then rubbed my back.  He really babied me tonight--and I needed it desperately!  I feel lucky to have this guy in my life!

I hate this time change.  And I think that between the solar flare, the full moon AND the time change, we all should just DUCK!  (Or maybe go to bed and stay there until things are back to normal!!)  It's Wednesday--hope you have no trouble getting over the hump!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Hungry Eyes Revisited...

I am not hungry, but that doesn't stop me from wanting food.  And the food I want?  Junk food.  I thought I wanted a shamrock shake from McDonald's.  Three sips and I was ready to throw it away; instead, Whit finished it for me.  All weekend, I've wanted a brownie, but I'm sure I don't really and if I had it, I'd throw it out.  I'm not sure why these cravings, but I'm having a lot of them, anyway!

I tell you this to let you know that having this surgery doesn't make me exempt from normal cravings.  At all. And I'll probably regret those three sips because the sugar in the shake will probably give me diarrhea.

I had a really great weekend.  I'm sorry to see it come to an end!  I hate DST...with a passion.  Daylight savings time seems like such an outdated premise, and I understand that people like the idea of more daylight in the summer but I HATE going to work in the pitch black, which it's going to be for the next several weeks!

Have a MARVELOUS Monday!

Saturday, March 10, 2012


Last night I went to dinner with my friend Dorothy and then to see Hairspray.  A girl with whom I've acted was in it and was wonderful!  We had a great time.  For those of you unfamiliar with the story line, Tracy Turnblad is a chubby Baltimorean who wants to dance on a local television dance show.  Her size is a key point to the story--because she's "not like other girls", her mother, (who is always played by a male actor) tries to convince Tracy not to pursue her dreams.  There are two main antagonists--Amber and her mother, a former beauty queen (Miss Baltimore Crab) who look down on Tracy because of her size.  Set in the 1960s, it's about dance, integration and love.  It's rich with peppy songs and lovable characters, and I highly recommend.

While I was sitting there, I was very much aware that 100 pounds ago, the snarky comments made by Amber and her mother would have bothered me much more than they did last night.  I took such comments personally, and I have to admit that while I sat watching the play, I enjoyed the jokes and winced only slightly at their snarkiness!

I had visits from former students yesterday--both of whom were surprised by my appearance, even though they've seen photos on Facebook.  Melissa said that while she'd seen the photos, in person I look even smaller!  Very complimentary--and I loved it!

Today Whit and I are going to take his youngest daughter to lunch and perhaps to see John Carter at the IMAX theater in Raleigh.  Have a SUPER Saturday!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Does Size Really Matter?

Relax, guys--I'm talking about clothing size!  And to answer that question: no, I don't think it does!

I believe in self-acceptance.  I couldn't accept myself 100 pounds ago, but I do now.  I am not in a hurry to lose any more weight--if I do, I do, but right now, it's not a big deal to me.  I feel good today.  GOOD.  I have more energy, less pain and more confidence than I did 100 pounds ago.  

Last night, I went to dinner with Whit and a few people from his job.  It was nice to meet his coworkers, but more than that, it was nice being confident about meeting them.  I wore my black jeans and a cute white top and felt good about how I looked.  After dinner, (Whit and I shared the ribs and barbecue chicken dinner--it was delicious) I showed the women at the table my "before" picture.  (The one with my friend Jeanie and her birthday cake from July.)  They were stunned that it was a photograph of me!  It's nice to get that kind of reaction, I have to admit.  "Hannah", one of Whit's coworkers, is a beautiful young woman who has thought about gastric bypass.  I hope I didn't come on too strong when I encouraged her to look into it, because I was really happy to hear she was thinking about it. I referred her to the blog and also told her to get my number from Whit if she wants to talk more about the surgery.  After all, my friend Susan encouraged me; it would be awesome to be able to encourage someone else!

Saturday on our way to the basketball game, Whit and I stopped at JR's on 95.  I bought myself a French Dressing" brand top for just $9!  When I selected it, I picked up a size large, laid it against me and was surprised that it looked like it would fit well.  Now, keep in mind I was wearing a 3X, so a large is quite a lot smaller than I've worn in the past.  Whit tried to talk me into buying a medium, but I knew there was NO way a medium would have fit.  He argued with me, "But you're not large!".  I guess he doesn't understand that women's clothing sizes are so unpredictable!  A large in one clothing line is really like a medium in another line and a size small in yet another! Anyway, the large fit fine, and I was proud of the fact that my "head" is catching up with my "body"...I'm actually seeing myself in a more realistic way.

At least I was until tonight!  On our way back to Whit's house after dinner, I asked him if we could stop at Sam's Club.  (For those of you unfamiliar, Sam's Club is a warehouse store that sells all kinds of things, including cases of spring water [one of which I carry in the trunk of my car always].)  I found a really cute "crinkle" top from Liz Claiborne for $12.59.  It's colorful shades of green and teal and spring-like and adorable, but I was drawn to a size extra-large.  (Expensive clothing lines tend to run small.)  I held it up to myself, and Whit said that it was too big.  It has a functional drawstring below the bustline, and I argued that I could pull the string tighter if I lost more weight.  After five minutes of back-and-forth discussion that I didn't need an extra large, I finally acquiesced and picked up the large, even though I was certain that it wasn't going to fit me for a while.

Well, you guessed it.  I came home from Whit's house, and I was stunned to find that when I tried it on, it not only fit, but it looks good!  (I'll have someone take a photo of it when I wear it to school--but it's supposed to be chilly tomorrow, so I won't be wearing it for a few days!)

Before the surgery, everything I read said that it would take a while for my head to catch up to my body, before I felt thinner.  Susan warned me about it, too.  And now I'm warning you!  It takes a while to feel thin, but I guess it makes sense, since I never felt as fat as I actually was!

It's almost the weekend--have a fabulous Friday!!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Benjamin Franklin? A Century? No...

Notice the necklace!!  100 pounds, people!  I am VERY happy and wanted to share it with YOU!

Thank you for all of your make me SO happy!  It's a real pleasure to share this milestone with you!

Love you,

Breaking News...

Stay tuned...I'll have an announcement by 12:00pm (Noon, EST)

Monday, March 5, 2012

Loss...and Another Kind of Victory

The basketball team lost Saturday night, so their season is over.  They were amazing this year, losing only five games, including this one.  They played with heart the entire year and deserve to feel so proud!

Whit and I drove to Fayetteville, stopping at JR's on 95 on the way down and then had dinner with a high school friend, Luann and her husband, Dave.  It was tough to see the kids lose, but like I said, they've had such a great season!

I have decided to stop weighing myself because I am so frustrated about my "plateau".  I'm feeling like I'm never going to lose these two pounds which will take me to the 100-pound mark! I've been eating well, maybe better than I have in the past two months, but I'm not overeating or anything close to that.  And while I've not gained any weight, I am sitting at 207!  (205 will put me at a 100-pound loss!)  Whit said something to me about maybe I was eating better because I'm feeling comfortable in our relationship, so I asked him if he was worried about me getting "fat" again.  He was quick in his reply! He said, "I love 'Rhonda'.  Whether Rhonda weighs what she does now, loses more weight or gains it, I'll still love her.  No matter what size!"

This was the absolutely BEST thing he could ever say to me, especially given the fact that James and I broke up because he said he wasn't sure he could be attracted to me if I lost weight!  Whit loves me for myself--not for my size...and that feels amazing!

It's Monday--hope yours is meaningful and marvelous!

Saturday, March 3, 2012


Well, our boys won the semi-finals Friday night and will play in the divisional finals tonight.  If they win tonight, they will go to the first playoff berth towards the STATE championship!  Whit went with me on the school bus, which just shows what a wonderfully good sport he is!  We will drive the 90 miles tonight, however!

We stopped at Burger King on the way to the game, and he and I shared some "chicken tenders".  I'm not a big fan of Burger King--probably because I worked there for more than a year after I graduated from high school!  I ate the chicken though--I needed the protein.  I also ate about five french fries--they actually tasted pretty good to me, but five is my max!

It's 2:00am as I write this--and Whit is on his way home, which worries me a bit.  He lives an hour southeast of me, so I made him promise to call me when he gets home!  I am so very happy!  It's an amazing, incredible sensation!!  I hope you have a superb Saturday and get to spend it (like I do) with someone you love!

Friday, March 2, 2012

...And You Had A Bad Day...

Thursday was a bad day.  It started with a really disrespectful group of students and went downhill from there.  Normally, I love my job, but I have one class of juniors who are so mouthy and disrespectful that some days I just can't take them.  Yesterday was one of those days.  They talk through the Pledge of Allegiance.  They don't recite the required Student Pledge.  They talk through the announcements.  They talk through other students' performances.  They make rude and snarky comments to anyone about anything, and yesterday I had enough.

Then Google Ads cancelled my ads on this blog--saying that I had suspicious "activity".  They owed me more than $100, which they will not pay me now because of this activity.  Apparently they determined that someone (?) was clicking on ads "insincerely" or something.  They have an appeal process which is a joke, as I filled out the form and within two hours had a reply that more or less said "yeah, well, thanks for the information, but we're still cancelling the ads and not paying you."  Nice, huh?

Then Whit and I had a misunderstanding.  Things are fine now, but I'll tell you--it was NOT my day.  The only good thing that came out of it--and I didn't realize it until now--is that in the past, a day like yesterday would have sent me to food.  Lots of food.  Yesterday, I went to bed early, but I didn't turn to food for comfort.  Food is no longer the "help" that I once thought it was.  So I guess that's something.

It's easy to be happy when things are going well; it's a little tougher to do when things hit a rough patch.  But the fact that I find something to celebrate today after the day I had tells me that I am really, truly healing.  And that's something worth celebrating any time!  It's finally Friday!  Tomorrow's post will be late as there's a basketball playoff game tonight in Fayetteville (90 miles away), and I'll be getting in very late tonight.  Have a fantastic Friday, everyone!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

The Death of a Crush...

I was about eight years old when I first saw him, and it was love at first sight.  I fell madly in love with his sparkly eyes, his boyish handsomeness, his British accent.  I didn't miss a chance to see him.  I'm talking about Davy Jones, who died of a heart attack yesterday at the way-too-young age of 66.

The Monkees, complete with misspelled animal name, were created to compete with another "boy band" of the 1960s--the Beatles.  I didn't care why they had been created.  I didn't care that their series was cheesy and silly.  They were on twice a week as I remember--including Saturday mornings, and I didn't miss an episode, much to my mother's disgust.  (Seriously, the show was TRULY silly and cheesy.)

From 1966 to 1968, I was in love with the man/boy who had planned to become a jockey until fate intervened.  After the series went off the air, Davy recorded a solo album, which I owned, played and sang along with continuously.  When the show went off the air, I found another crush--Bobby Sherman, but it's true--you never forget your "first love".

I cried when I heard the news of his premature death--and then I went to iTunes and bought "The Best of the Monkees" album.  I listened to it in my classroom and on the way home from school, and it's astounding to me that all the words came flooding back to me as if I had just heard them recently.  It's with great sorrow--and appreciation--that I say, "Rest in peace, Davy Jones.  I loved you so much--you were an escape during a rather ragged childhood.  Thank you for the smiles, the silliness, the music.  You made me a 'daydream believer', and I will miss you."