So Hard to Say Goodbye...

Well, after two weeks of wondering, I don't have to wonder any more.  My contract will not be renewed due to "restructuring".  Their word--not mine.  I was among eight high school teachers to be cut.  Additionally, there were eleven cut from the elementary school, and the middle school teachers will receive their bad news today.  What they are going to do is called "blended learning", which when done correctly, gives students access to great software online.  The software is used to SUPPLEMENT the teachers' instruction.  However, instead of using IT to supplement teachers' work, they are using teachers to supplement the computer work.  Kids will be online 60 percent of their day.  I love technology, but this is just wrong on so many levels...

Most of the teachers cut had been there longer than I.  But most of them also have (or are) second incomes in the household.  I'm on my own, which is pretty scary.  Still, I have to believe that there's some place that needs me...

Last night, after I received the news, I drove out to see Kevin.  I just needed a hug, you know?  He was really comforting, and I had a half of a glass of wine, which helped, too.  I came home and slept pretty well--that is until about 4:45am.  I've been awake ever since, and it's nearly 6:00am.

I keep thinking about how this could have been worse.  It could have happened last summer, and then I wouldn't have had the surgery.  At least now, I'll be job searching thinner and healthier.  And let's face it: fat discrimination is the last "acceptable" discrimination in this country.  A thinner, more attractive me will probably have an easier time finding work.  Another way this could have been worse?  I could be overeating.  Instead, I'm feeling every ounce of pain.  I feel especially bad for my kids--I know that a few of them will really miss me, and I'll miss them.

Keep me in your prayers, would you please?  And please...no more "inspirational" quotes like "When God closes one door, He opens a window"...I know you're trying to help, but it really DOESN'T help.  Have a good Tuesday.