A New Year's Coming. Are You Ready?

It's New Year's Eve.  As a younger person, this was THE night for me, when I hated it if I didn't have some kind of plans.  Today, plans--or the lack thereof--don't even concern me.  It's funny--but when you live your life like every day is New Year's, every day is a chance to start over, you don't need a countdown or ball drop to make it special!

Still, I wanted to address the fact that this is New Year's Eve by discussing what's different today from years past.  The first and most obvious thing is that I'm 77 pounds lighter than I was at this time last year.  Seventy-seven pounds!  The average 5th grader weighs between 73 and 75 pounds.  I've lost a FIFTH GRADER!  Remarkable!  I feel so much better--I have more energy, my knees hurt less, I'm more confident, I'm aware of bony protuberances.  Seventy-seven pounds!

It's also the first New Year's Eve that I'm single in four years.  Funny how I remember every New Year's Eve for the past four years, although they weren't that momentous.  We just got take-out, either Thai, Chinese or pizza and sat in bed watching Ryan Seacrest.  Nothing special and yet at the time, it felt like it was.  In hindsight, I can see that my ex was fattening me up, making sure I wasn't going to start the new year an ounce lighter.  

And this is probably the first New Year's Eve in my life when I haven't made any "resolutions" only to break them a few weeks into the new year.  I don't need to make any special resolutions just because it's December 31st!  I am on the right track now--and don't have any plans to slow down until my body is ready to do so!

So my pants size has dropped from a 22/24 to a 16 (which is not at all tight, I might add) and in tops, I've gone from a 2X or 3X to a XL.  But more important than sizes is my self-concept.  Having the surgery is second only to going back to school when I was 30 on the list of the best things I've ever done for myself. Of course, breaking up with James is third on that same list!  (lol)  I also want to add that as I make progress, I am growing less and less afraid about "putting all the weight back on".  I've handled my demons and am ready for all the joy that I know life has in store for me.

I had a date yesterday--we went to lunch where we shared an entree and then to a movie.  I had fun, and I may even see him again, unlike the "octopus" from a few weeks ago.  (By the way, he called me while I was in NY, but I didn't take or return the call.  The man obviously cannot take a hint!)  Still, I do enjoy my own company enough to know that if I don't see him again, I'll be fine!  Great, even! :-)

So what are your plans to bring in 2012?  I hope that whatever you do, you do it with love--first for yourself and then for those around you.  Because you deserve it!!

Burying the Dead...

You can’t spend your life in the graveyard of guilt dealing with the corpses of the past. Know when things are dead, know when to release them and bury them. If you continue to work with the dry bones of dead issues, you too will begin to decay. No amount of work will resuscitate a corpse. Sign the death certificate and bury the past.

I borrowed the above from my friend Angie who borrowed it from a friend.  It really struck a chord with me, and I wanted to share it with you.

How many times have you tried to resuscitate a corpse?  Whether it is trying to hold together a relationship that is long over or staying in a dead-end job, we tend to do that.  We tend to hold on to the past--and remember it not clearly but fondly and with warped ideas of what was.  Have you ever thought about reconnecting with an ex just because he/she was known rather than venturing out and trying the unknown?  Have you ever berated yourself for missing an opportunity?  Have you ever said--or even thought--"if only I had another chance..."  If only you had another chance, what?  What would you do?  Magically change the circumstances that caused the death of the relationship in the first place? 

Every day is an opportunity to start again, but tomorrow night (Saturday) is the perfect opportunity to clear your slate and start again. Bury your dead at midnight--and celebrate the new year by actually living!

Have a sensational Saturday, everyone!

I'm Back!!

First, let me say how good it is to be back home with a cat on my lap and WiFi at my fingertips.  That being said, I'm really missing my mom!  She says she's going to sell her house in the spring--I hope that she does. My mom and I are friends--which is pretty special to me!

I had a great time in NY--I got to visit with a lot of friends, including one who may be helping me with a cover design for my young adult novel and whom I've not seen in 20 years!!  It's funny how much more confident I am--feeling comfortable in my own skin enough to go visit him without feeling like I'd "changed too much" since we last saw each other.

Visiting with friends was great, but I spent a lot of time talking about myself--which I don't normally do.  It was a little weird--and rather disconcerting--and I hope my friends weren't put off by it!  And a few questions came up that I thought I'd answer here as well as answering them at the time they were asked.

Jeannie asked if I feel any different inside my body--and the answer to that is yes. There are two times when I feel "different"...one is about thirty minutes after I've eaten.  I swear I can feel myself digesting the food!  It's not an unpleasant sensation but rather a fluttery, bubbling, gnawing sensation that lasts ten to fifteen minutes.  The other time is when I've not eaten in a while--I don't get hungry but I do feel empty.  And when I drink after that emptiness, I feel the liquid go just "so far" and stop.  Before the surgery, when I was truly empty, I could feel the liquid go all the way to the "bottom".  Neither of these two sensations are unpleasant, but to be perfectly honest, YES, I do feel slightly different inside.

Tomorrow I'll answer a few other questions people had for me...and I invite YOU to post your questions as well!  Have a FANTASTIC Friday, my dear readers!!

Post Christmas Present

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas holiday!  Mine was low-key, but wonderful--Mom and I ate dinner out (where we were surrounded by families having Christmas dinner) and then went to see "War Horse", which was wonderful but a bit graphic in its war scenes.  

I hope that you didn't do anything over the holiday that you regret--overeating, overspending, overindulging in alcohol, etc.  But if you did, dust yourself off and begin again. One of my writer friends shared a great quote by George Eliot, "It is never too late to become who you might have been."  So tell me...who would you be?  And what steps are you taking to become that person?

Saturday night is New Year's Eve, a time when people make resolutions to quit smoking, quit drinking, lose weight, etc.  Rather than making a resolution that will last you six weeks max, decide who you want to be and take steps in that direction today.  Don't wait until Saturday...start today  Remember, it's not too late!

The Perfect Gift

Christmas is coming—the best you can give to those you love is to love yourself.  It’s an amazing thing—when you love yourself, you’re just happier.  Happier you means happier relationships.  Happier relationships means a happier life at work and at home.  

I’m sure that you’ve put a lot of time and energy into finding just the “right” gifts for your loved ones.  I know that I have always been thrilled with finding the “right” gift.  But this year, I’ve bought fewer gifts than usual—in part because money is tight, but also because I’ve discovered that the best gift I can give to anyone is spending time with them.  People will enjoy spending more time with you when you like spending time with you!

It’s hard for me to get where there’s internet access here, especially during the holiday, so this will be my last post until the 26^th or 27^th.  Please—take my advice and give yourself and your friends the best gift possible—a happier you.  Be kind to yourself.  Be gentle.  When you screw up—and you will—forgive yourself and move on.  Merry Christmas, everyone…and as always, thank you for reading.  YOU are one of my blessings!

Five More??

What a difference!  In years past, my trip to New York has involved restaurants, restaurants and more restaurants.  My mom and I are still eating out, but I am making such good choices!  I have to feel really good about that.  Last night, Thao and I went to dinner at the Lost Dog Cafe and then to the movies to see a sneak preview of "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo".  It was great!  Violent but great!  I ordered grilled chicken with sweet potato fries at dinner--and while I only managed to eat about half of the chicken and five or six sweet potato fries, everything was delicious.  If you've never had sweet potato fries, I highly recommend!  

I haven't seen Thao since June, so she was impressed with my progress.  She said, "I don't think I've ever seen you this small!", and she's right--she hasn't.  I've known her for nearly ten years, and this is the smallest I've been!  Our friend, Robb, was equally complimentary!  It felt SO good! Thao is on her own weight-loss quest and has lost TEN pounds! Yay for her! I think she looks great, too--but she's always been totally adorable, anyway!

If my mom's scales are correct--and there's no reason to think they aren't--I've lost five more pounds!  I weighed in on both her upstairs and her downstairs scales (not sure why she needs two, but...) and the number was the same!  So...that's 76 pounds!  Eeek!  Just 24 away from 100!!  Mind boggling to me!

Mom and I went to the mall earlier today and I found a pair of size 16 jeans that may not fit right now--I haven't tried them yet, but they looked SMALL to me--at Penney's for $6.97!! Really! Marked down from $48 to $6.97!!  I also bought a cute dusty pink top that was marked down from $14.99 to $6.99!  Quite an accomplishment for me to buy clothing!  I haven't been comfortable enough yet to go into a store and go into a dressing room with an armful of clothing, but I'm pretty sure that day is coming!

It's cold and rainy here today; I hope it's warmer where you are! Christmas is almost here--I hope you're with at least someone you love!  Have a wish-filled Wednesday!

What Does Your Tag Say?

As I drove up from NC to NY yesterday, I took note of several personalized license tags.  In Virginia, which is where I spend a large portion of my trip, personalization is very inexpensive--like $10.00/year!  I have personalized tags--LVSHKSPR...which is "I love Shakespeare" without any vowels!  I love seeing people behind me trying to figure out what it means!

On the trip, I saw HEARTMD, which was either a cardiologist or someone who loves Maryland.  (Judging by the expensive nature of the car, I'm pretty sure it was a cardiologist.)  I also saw VIVEART and GOT OUZO. 

I love the option of personalizing our license tags--but what if we had to put our self-esteem out there on a plate?  What would yours say?  CHICKEN?  GOODONE?  Remember, you're limited to 8 spaces.  That doesn't allow you much, so be creative!  And yes, you guessed it--it's a homework assignment. :-)  I want you to creatively express yourself--and your self-esteem, personality, qualities as succinctly as you can--in 8 letters or less!

If I had done this six months ago, my tag would have said SELFHATE or FATCHICK.  Today, with my apologies to Shakespeare, whom I really do love, I think I'd change it to LOVEME.  How about you?  Leave yours in the comments--if you dare!!