Judge Much???

I have always prided myself on not judging people. I don't judge based on race or religion, but this afternoon I found myself judging two different women on something that may surprise you--their weight!

I know--ME?  Judging them after I weighed more than 300 pounds?  Where do I get off?  Truth is, I asked myself that question, and then really truly scolded myself for even thinking what I thought.  But truth is, I did think it.  Both women in question were easily 400+ and both were using the "scooters" at Sam's Club.

My thought: "You wouldn't need that scooter if you lost some weight."  And it's true--they PROBABLY wouldn't...after all, I used to use those same scooters to get around Sam's.  But they also may have had some debilitating disease, which I couldn't possibly know by looking so where do I get off judging?

Truth is, I felt terrible about even thinking it--which is why I'm sitting here less than 30 minutes later, writing a "confession" of sorts.  I also know that people thought the very same thing about ME when I was scooting around the store--and of course, they were right.  I'm living proof of that.  Still, I had no right to think that of these women--because if it weren't for the surgery, I'd have been riding along side them.

Think about it.  When's the last time you saw a large person and thought, "Why doesn't he/she do something about..."  Did you chastise yourself?  You should have.  After all..."judge not lest ye be judged."

Phew...I feel better now.  It's FRIDAY!  Have a great weekend!

Size Apparently IS Everything...

When I was in New York last month, I bought several new tops, including two new cardigans.  One was kelly green (I look great in green--makes my eyes greener and my hair redder) and the other was black.  The black one is a size "large" while the green one is a "medium" because they didn't have any large, so I tried on the green one and it fit fine.

Today, I thought I'd wear the black one to school.  It's too small.  It's a size larger than the green one that FIT.  How weird is that?  Sizes are so strange.  I guess it depends on the manufacturer, but it strikes me as so weird that two sweaters by the SAME manufacturer would vary so much in size.  Maybe that's why they were on sale--just $7.99 marked down from $58...But the lesson here is TRY things ON!!

I've never been one to try things on in stores, but I'm going to start!  I used to dress to hide, now I need to dress to flatter...so the dressing room is where it'll all begin!!

And let me say this...my blog is NOT a place for "conversations", but if you'd like to leave a comment, please do.  I just ask that you don't leave an ANONYMOUS comment, as that seems pretty cowardly to me. (And because this is MY blog, I reserve the right to delete any comment I deem inappropriate). And if you want to have a "conversation", I'm on Facebook.  Friend me! RRRhonda9.

Have a great day, everyone!  (It's almost the weekend...and it's a LONG one!!)

Family Ties

In many ways, my life has changed dramatically over the past year and a half.  Losing 127 pounds can really alter a person, and I don't mean just physically.  

I am not the same person I was the morning of August 5, 2011 as the medical personnel at Rex Hospital wheeled me into surgery.  I am different--and I'm glad I'm different.  I think I'm constantly changing, evolving, embracing the change that keeps coming my way.

I don't know if it's the new year or the decision to move back to New York, but for some reason, I've been waxing nostalgic lately.  I have been thinking about relationships and how they change.  I have a few classmates from high school who married right out of high school--and are still married after 35+ years! I'm not sure how they've done it.  I am nowhere near the same person I was in high school.  I would hope that you aren't either!  So how do people do it?  I reflect on my marriage which lasted just 8 years, and I know he and I definitely wouldn't be together today, even if he had changed dramatically.

I have a friend who's been a friend since 4th grade.  Fourth grade!  We don't see each other often--maybe just once a year (although I hope that will change now that I'm moving north) but even at that infrequency, I know that she's someone on whom I can count--and I would do anything for her.  I have other friends that have stayed friends for 20+ years, while others have popped in and out of my life without leaving so much as a forwarding address.  Why do people come and go?  Are they there for a little while to teach us something?  For us to teach them?  I remember Pat, Michelle, Michele and Nancy, Nancy and Judy.  And Ginny.  They were there--and now they aren't.  I haven't heard from these women in 30 years...and yet I thought at the time that we were close!  And I guess we were.  I shouldn't dismiss the friendship because the years have separated us.  We were there for each other when we needed each other--and I guess that's all that matters.

In my life, friends have come and go.  But family?  Family is there for you no matter what.  Remembering that makes going back to New York an easy decision.  My mom needs me now, and I need her.  Friends my age are losing their parents.  Parents are falling and getting injured or having strokes.  Parents are going into nursing homes or hospitals or rehab centers.  Parents are becoming the children as the roles of caregiver/care "taker" are reversed.  I am grateful that my mother is in pretty good health right now.  But at nearly 82, I'm not going to take that for granted.  I don't think anyone should!

If you're lucky enough to have your parents, hug them.  Tell them you love them.  Spend the day with them.  Take time out of your busy life to say "thank you".  "Thank you for raising me, for loving me, for giving me life."  Do it now...while you can.

New Year's Resolutions

I tend not to make resolutions for the New Year as I (like most people) don't tend to keep them.  However, this year, I'm making a few, and here they are:

1) I'm leaving North Carolina and moving back to New York.  Yep.  That's a biggie, I know, but I believe it's time.  First, my mom is going to be 82 in April, and I think she needs me.  More important than that is that I need her.  I know that the day will come when she's no longer around, but I would like to postpone that for as long as possible.  I've been away 10 years now.  And it's been an interesting, productive and painful 10 years.  I've tried talking her into moving down here--moving away from the cold weather, but she hasn't and now says it's too late.  And it may well be.  I'm younger, healthier (especially now) and a move would be easier for me.  So I'm going to do it.  I'm going to work the rest of this school year, and then I'm going to move back north.  I'm a New Yorker in my heart.  It's always been true--we New Yorkers are a special breed.  We're fast, smart, liberally minded, tough and independent...and I've never completely fit in here.  I spent the holidays in NY, and it was cold and snowy, and I still hate the snow, but I love my mom more.  So come June, I'm packing up and heading home.

2) I'm going to write more.  Here and with my novels.  I'm going to edit and send the two books I've written to agents.  I'm going to find an agent this year.  I'm a talented wordsmith--it's time I get recognition for that.

3) I'm going to date more.  After Kevin, I retreated into myself a little.  I found myself disinterested in going back "out there", even though I DID date a few men.  I just wasn't really interested in pursuing anything beyond a first or second date.  But I'm going to start.  I am.  I have a single friend in Raleigh, and she  and I are going to go to a few "meet-up" events together.  I'm not looking for anything serious down here--but that doesn't mean I can't have fun for the next six months!

4) I'm going to work out more.  I'm not going to join a gym here in NC, but I will start walking more and start toning.  I've lost a lot of weight--and I look good in clothes, but naked?  Not so much.  It's time to firm up and that's my goal for this year.

There you have it.  Four resolutions.  Not too many, and none of which is unattainable.   Create your own list, but remember to make it short and sweet.  And don't beat yourself up if you don't keep your resolutions...you always have 2014!

Have a very happy New Year, all...and make yourself your number one priority this year.  That's an order!