Reinventing Rhonda

Sorry I haven't written in a few days, but I've been busy--catching up on sleep!  I didn't realize how poorly I'd been sleeping after I was laid off.  I think I've caught up now...after days of naps and going to bed early!  I realized while I was unemployed that I was stressed, but I didn't fully realize how it was affecting my sleep!  

Today, I'm going to Raleigh to meet my friend Mary Caroline and her husband (and possibly daughter--I'm not sure if I followed that thread of the conversation) for lunch at the Twisted Fork.  They have an amazing Thai chicken salad that I love!  I saw Mary Caroline two weeks ago when I was in New York, but I haven't seen her husband in years, so it'll be a great visit!

After lunch, I'm going to my new school to meet with the department chair, to see my room and get my books.  I'm so excited!  Most teachers are already dreading the beginning of the school year, but I can't wait!  

Reinvention.  That's what I'm going through.  I'm reinventing myself.  The people at this new school don't know me, so they don't know I was fat.  They don't need to know, either, unless I choose to tell them.  I have a new body, a new outlook and now a new job.  It's really a great time for a shiny new beginning!

You don't have to wait for something monumental to happen in order to reinvent yourself.  There's no time like the present.  If there's something you want to change, change it!  You can't rewrite your history, but you CAN choose how it paints your future.  Have a marvelous Monday!

Working Girl!

I got a job!  Actually, I got THREE of them!  Too funny--I had THREE job offers yesterday.  I had an interview yesterday morning--the school had actually called my friend Virginia who already HAS a job, so she gave them my name.  Within two and a half hours, they called me and offered the job!  Two hours later, the school where I interviewed on Tuesday called to offer me a position, and an hour after that, the school where I interviewed on Monday called!

I accepted the first offer--and at first, I was taken aback by the second and third offers.  However, I thought about it, prayed on it, and I feel pretty secure in my choice.  I instantly liked the English department chair and think we'll become fast friends.  This school is about 40 minutes away, and I'll definitely commute for the first few months.  I may look for another place to live, but having pets can make that search a difficult one, so we'll see.

I went out to lunch with Dorothy and her grandchildren--and she treated to celebrate my new job.  We went to Ichiban, which is a Japanese grill.  I had the teriyaki chicken with extra carrots rather than rice, which is just too filling!  I've had to show my card there in order to get the extra carrots--and the last time I was there, I had to show my ID along with the card! And of course, I only ate about half my lunch--the rest is in the refrigerator for lunch today!

I was supposed to see my doctor for my annual post-surgical check, but I had to cancel because I wasn't feeling well.  (I don't think it was lunch but it may have been the cherries I ate Wednesday night--they were delicious but fresh fruit sometimes gets me!)  I've rescheduled for Tuesday, so we'll have an "official" total for how much I've lost in a year!  I think it's around 122 pounds!

Have a fantastic Friday!!  Now that I have a job, I can actually begin to enjoy my summer vacation!

Hello, Goodbye

Today, Kevin is having gastric bypass surgery, and last night, I ended things with him.  He has been acting strangely for weeks, and I know that it was in anticipation of this surgery.  I had had high hopes for our relationship, but I think he was keeping me at a distance so that he would be ready for "all" the women he expects to get once he's lost the weight.

I don't fully blame him.  Not completely. This surgery creates new realities.  It does.  I get much more male attention now than I've ever received!  Men's heads actually turn!  However flattering the attention, and it IS flattering, it doesn't change who I am.  I am a good person who happens to be in a smaller body than I've been in for the past 25 years.  I'm still the same person--I still have the same good heart.  Kevin once told me that his father said to him, "When you lose the weight, you're going to be a real ass****!"  I was horrified when Kevin told me that, but I think he was right.

I cried a little last night, but today, I'm fine.  I wish Kevin all the best with his surgery, and I hope he discovers that no matter your body size, a good heart is still the most important thing you can possess.

Wishing you a wonderful Wednesday.

Don't Worry...Be Happy!

I'm home.  I got in around 8pm last night, and I had to run out to the store to get cat food!  (The little monsters ate it all while I was gone!)My mood is much better than it was.  I had an interview this morning for a middle school position--and although my initial reaction was "ugh", I now think I want it!  The interview went well, so we'll see...

Below is a photo you may remember.  It was taken in July 2011, about a month before my surgery.

I don't know about you, but I scarcely recognize her.  Jeanie and I recreated the photo on Friday night. 

What a difference, huh?  Other than my employment situation, I'm the happiest I've ever been!  And the job thing WILL happen...wherever it is that I belong!

Have a merry Monday!

Rejection

I was rejected as an applicant by American Airlines, who apparently don't think (without even meeting me) I'm good enough to handle phone reservations.  And I've had three interviews for which I've been rejected, and I've submitted at least a dozen resumes, which have also been rejected.  Feeling VERY worthless.

People have been really supportive--and I do appreciate it, but this funk is swallowing me alive.  I bought a cute new purse last night--which was marked down and on sale from $48 to $22, and that cheered me up a little.  I stopped and saw Robb and Thao for a bit last night, and that cheered me up a little,too.

I just had  phone call from a local school district and have an interview on Tuesday.  That means I have one on Monday and one on Tuesday.  I'm so tired of being rejected, but I can't give up.  Like I wrote the other day, it's important to keep fighting for something you want--but damn, it's TIRING!

Have a thoughtful Thursday!

Facing the Demons...

I'm really down.  I have to admit it.  Life is really difficult right now, and in the past when life was difficult, I could turn to food.  I don't have that option anymore.  So I'm feeling it--and feeling awful.  Today, I got away from my mother for a while and went to the Christmas Tree Shoppe and to Five Below, both of which I really love.  When I came out of Five Below, I discovered I had missed a call.  It was from the Raleigh area, so I dialed it.  Forgetting that NY is hands-free cell phone wise, I found that it was someone checking a reference for a friend and former colleague.  I promptly got pulled over for driving with a cell phone.  The ticket will probably cost me $50 or more.  More crap to deal with...as if my life isn't sucking ENOUGH right now.

No job.  No love life.  No money.  And now a ticket.  Sucks, sucks, sucks.  And I KNOW that people mean well, but I am SO tired of hearing that God has a plan.  Because whatever His plan is, it's not HELPING me right now.

Sorry to be so down, but as I said before--this blog is nothing, if not REAL.  Hope things are going better for YOU than they are for me right now...

Worth Fighting For!

When was the last time you fought for something you wanted or believed in?  I mean, really truly FOUGHT?  I used to let things go without fighting for them.  I used to decide that it was too difficult or not worth the struggle.  Whether it was a job or a relationship or a personal goal, when the going got tough, I gave up.  Of course, then I felt bad about myself for quitting, and when it came time to fight again, I just didn't have the fight in me. And thus began a vicious cycle!

Not anymore.  If I want something, I'll fight for it.  And I mean, I'll fight.  I'll risk looking like a fool if it means attaining my goal.  I'll go out on a limb until said limb is close to breaking.  I'll put my feelings out there for the world to see.  I'll take whatever risks are necessary if it's something I truly want.

Of course, one thing this requires is knowing what you truly want.  Perhaps that sounds silly or obvious, but think about it.  How many times have you THOUGHT you wanted something in life, only to find that you didn't want it once you got it.  Often, the pursuit is what we want--not the end product.  But if you find something you want, then you need to BELIEVE that it's worth fighting for. And then pull out all the stops.  Go for it.  What's the worst that can happen?  That employer who had no intention of hiring you might think you're nuts.  Or maybe he/she will be convinced to hire you.  That relationship might go south--or it might work out.  You may decide you hate living in a new place--or you may just love it.

There is no reward without some risk.  If you want it, truly WANT it, it must be worth SOME risk, right?  When I had the surgery, it was a great risk--literally, I risked my life with this major surgery.  But I've never looked back; all the bad things that "could have" happened didn't happen; and I've never felt more self-confident and attractive.  Worth fighting for?  You BET!

Have a marvelous Monday--I'll try to write again Wednesday.  It's tough to write every day with limited WiFi access!  And, as always, thanks for reading!