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Sunday, February 10, 2013

Dating Disasters...and Other Stories

First, let me apologize for not writing much recently.  School and dating are kicking my ass!  As it is, I should be grading papers and posting grades because progress reports are due on Tuesday.

But I had to take a few minutes to catch you up on the nightmare that is my life. 

First, last weekend, I was able to spend the entire weekend with Shannon.  It was so much fun--the kid is just so funny, and we had a great time.  We saw an awesome movie at the IMAX in Raleigh on the migration of monarch butterflies.  I loved it, and so did Shannon.  On Sunday, I took her back home...we actually met her great grandmother half way between here and Wilmington.

I've been talking to a man I met on Match.com, and he lives near Wilmington, so I suggested that we meet after I dropped off Shannon.  The meeting was okay--he has some bizarre facial hair I wasn't crazy about, but I was willing to give him a chance.  He called me about 15 minutes after I got home to let me know he got home okay, which was nice.  I started a load of laundry, and when I came back into my bedroom, I had a voicemail from him.  The message? "Roberta, it's me.  Gimme a call."  Yeah.  Roberta!  I called him and said, "you just left a message for Roberta on my phone."  He asked, "Who's this?"  Yep.  Needless to say, I hung up the phone and haven't returned his texts or calls.

Then I met a man online on Monday night, and we ended up going out on Tuesday!  Would've been great, except I picked a bad movie.  (Who knew Jason Statham could make a bad movie!!)  I chose to see "Parker" which was just awful.  I love Jason Statham, but this was NOT one of his best.  Then I recommended Cheddar's in Greenville for dinner--and it wasn't good either!  He's a nice man, though, and still wants to see me again, even though I made two bad choices that night!

And the icing on the proverbial dating cake came on Friday night.  I went out with Rick.  He suggested dinner at Outback.  I was excited about this date for some reason--and even a little nervous.  I came home from school,showered and washed my hair and got ready.  I met him at the restaurant at 7.  I hadn't eaten much all day, and I was nervous.   I made the biggest mistake--and ate a little piece of Outback's dark bread.  And sipped some water.  When my dinner arrived (way too much food for me, anyway), I ate a slice of the pork tenderloin and began to feel ill.  Those of you who are squeamish, stop reading now.

Last month, Al Roker caught a lot of negative attention when he admitted to "pooping his pants" at the White House.  He said that he admitted this because there are side effects to gastric bypass and wants people to be aware.  Well,here's a side effect to be aware of: I thought I was going to cough--and promptly vomited. 

Yep.  Vomited.  Into my napkin at the table with Rick sitting across from me.  Fortunately (?!), it was mostly water and mucus.  I didn't actually vomit food until I got to the ladies' room.  As I was dying in the ladies' room, I thought about sneaking out of the restaurant and texting him from the parking lot to let him know I had left.  Except that I had left my phone on the table.  A former colleague from Prep, Martha, came into the ladies' room, and I told her what I had done.  She asked, "Oh, no. Do you like him at least?"  I asked, "Does it matter?"

So I washed my face and slunk back to the table where Rick was sitting expectantly.  I honestly thought he'd have sneaked out of the restaurant...and I would not have blamed him!!  Instead, he wants to see me again!

I hate dating.  I do.  But I guess I need to get used to it...the new me is attractive and is attracting attention.  Let's just hope I don't barf again anytime soon...

 

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