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Thursday, August 25, 2011

Ack! It's the POLICE!!


I love my friends.  I do.  But I need to put this out there.  Please…I beg you, do NOT police my food.  You can’t possibly know what I should or should not be eating, because right now, *I* don’t know what I should or should not be eating.  I’m at a stage where I have to sample a variety of food to see if I can tolerate it.  I’m not going to suddenly “go off my diet”.  This isn’t a diet—I *can’t* actually go “off it”.  

I understand that your motivation is love and concern for me.  I know that.  And I really appreciate it, but this is a period of adjustment for me.  I don’t know yet what I will be able to eat.  I don’t know if room temperature water will always taste bad to me or if it’s just a temporary setback.  I don’t know if I’ll *ever* be able to eat popcorn again.  I just don’t know.  I am learning as I go along.

Wednesday afternoon, I went to Zaxby’s and bought a kid’s meal, consisting of two chicken tenders, crinkle fries and, surprise!, a Rice Krispies bar (which is tucked away in my desk drawer for a yet-undetermined future date).  I ate one chicken tender after peeling away most of the crispy breading.  It was very tender and very moist.  Better than that, though, it was delicious.  It tasted *so* good to me.  I also ate two and a half French fries.
And that was it.  I was full.  It was better than being full, though; it was *satisfying*.  And what did I ingest?  Maybe 200 calories?  Maybe.  But I kept it down; I don’t feel sick tonight; my energy level is up and so are my thoughts.  Oh, and just so you know--I threw the rest away.  I didn’t want to overeat.  I didn’t want to eat Zaxby’s again today—or even tomorrow.  But I got to try it, and it was delicious.

So please.  No policing.  Again, I understand that it is motivated by love.  But if you *really* love me, you’ll let me fall, stumble, and even succeed, on my own.

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