I’m a huge “Sex & the City” fan. I have been from the beginning of the series in 1998 on HBO. (I own the entire series, 1998-2004, on DVD) And I’ve followed “the girls” ever since—even though the second movie was rather bad! Throughout the years, Carrie and company have worn some pretty great—and some pretty terrible—outfits. Some I’ve absolutely adored while others left me cold. Who defines “great fashion”? What is “style”?
I’ve never really pursued *my* style. As a fat woman, I’ve certainly been limited to styles that 1) were available, and 2) fit and covered me adequately. It has been less about fashion and much more about comfort, too. Pants with elastic waists. Waists that stretched and allowed me to gain (and gain) without really even noticing. Tops that ballooned rather than clung.
The idea of having a different body to dress is a high concept—one that’s both scary and exciting. My youngest brother,Kriss, who is without a doubt my *favorite* brother, said to me, “I’ve never known you thin.” He’s right—he really hasn’t because he was only three when I first made that conscious decision to protect myself using food. He’s never known me thin, and truth is, neither have I. I was chubby kid, although certainly not obese. I was a bookish kid—not at all athletic.
Yet today I was looking in to Zumba classes. They actually have “gold” level classes for those of us who are really out of shape or just beginning a program. I can’t join until next month because I’m still on some restrictions, but I am going to see if I can observe a class toward the end of this month. I think it will be fun as well as good exercise. I’m also going back to the Y…I love the pool; the hot tub and sauna are great little bonuses, too!
And I’m looking forward to this new me; even though it scares me, I’m pushing through. This afternoon is my first post-surgical visit. I know that I’ve lost weight—especially in my legs and breasts! My chin seems pointier to me. There *is* going to be a new body when all is said and done…and it’s going to need dressing. I can’t wait to find *my* style.