Have you ever set out to do something and then stopped completely because you were afraid you weren’t going to be very good at it?
I have. When I was very young, my father said, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” I interpreted “well” as “perfectly”, and for years, if I’ve not been able to do something perfectly, I stopped trying to do it altogether.
That is not an option for me with this surgery. It’s done, and for the rest of my life, I’ll be able to eat just 2-3 ounces at a time. Don’t misunderstand—I’m not complaining. In fact, I like the fact that I can’t self-sabotage anymore. If I overeat, I’m going to get sick. Very sick. And as I’ve previously written, I hate getting sick.
I had a little chicken salad last night, and it seemed to be all right for me. It came from the Red & White and was so very finely chopped that it seemed like a safe choice. I picked out the egg (because I don’t like it) and the celery (because it was huge and because I hate it). The salad was delicious to me, even though I ate just a forkful. (Which means I'll also have it today for lunch!)
Before the surgery, I wouldn’t have stopped at a forkful. Or even two or three. I probably would have emptied the half-pound container. Now I have chicken salad to last over six meals! In fact, I’ll probably be sick of chicken salad before it’s gone, and I’ll end up throwing it out. As good as those mashed potatoes tasted to me the other day, I’ve since thrown them out, too. I need to invest in a Seal N Save or other sealer as I’m going to be portioning things out and freezing them for ease. Can you imagine how far a one-pound pork tenderloin will go when I’m eating such small portions?
The patient book from the surgeon says that we should eat the very best food given the fact that we can eat so little. That makes sense to me—and even though initially the “best” may be more expensive, if it’s better quality and it’s going to be spread out over several meals, why shouldn’t I buy the best? After all, (with apologies to L’Oreal), I’m WORTH it!