I love my brother Kriss. He's an awesome person; he has a good heart and a great sense of humor. If we weren't related, we'd still be friends. But he's angry--angry at my abuser, angry that I "lost" so much life while dealing with being sexually abused and the obesity that came as part of the aftermath.
I understand his anger. And I love him for it. But I can't be angry. Not anymore. I was too angry for too long. It's time to let go. I know I keep peppering this blog with quotes, but I love wisdom and love sharing it even more! So here's another: “Anger does as much damage to the vessel it is stored in as it does to anything it is poured upon." Food for thought, yes?
I refuse to be angry anymore. I spent a great deal of my life angry at my abuser, and while I was angry at him, while I was absorbed by all that rage, I wasn't in control of my life. He was. How ironic, right!? My carrying around all that anger, my refusal to "get over it", my continual need to hide behind food--these were all gestures that HE controlled. I know that now, and there's no way in hell that I'm EVER going to give anyone that much control again!
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