I love my brother Kriss. He's an awesome person; he has a good heart and a great sense of humor. If we weren't related, we'd still be friends. But he's angry--angry at my abuser, angry that I "lost" so much life while dealing with being sexually abused and the obesity that came as part of the aftermath.
I understand his anger. And I love him for it. But I can't be angry. Not anymore. I was too angry for too long. It's time to let go. I know I keep peppering this blog with quotes, but I love wisdom and love sharing it even more! So here's another: “Anger does as much damage to the vessel it is stored in as it does to anything it is poured upon." Food for thought, yes?
I refuse to be angry anymore. I spent a great deal of my life angry at my abuser, and while I was angry at him, while I was absorbed by all that rage, I wasn't in control of my life. He was. How ironic, right!? My carrying around all that anger, my refusal to "get over it", my continual need to hide behind food--these were all gestures that HE controlled. I know that now, and there's no way in hell that I'm EVER going to give anyone that much control again!
So...the next time you're feeling angry, feel it. It's healthy to feel it and very unhealthy to stuff it down. So feel it. Vent. Yell. Scream. Take a bubble bath. Go for a run. Play with a pet. Have ONE cookie. And then take back control of your life. It's the only one you've got!