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Saturday, November 12, 2011

Hello? Anyone Out There?

Someone is reading this blog.  I watch the "page view" counter increase every day, so someone is reading this.  But no one--well, practically no one--comments, so I guess I have to HOPE that those of you who are reading are enjoying what you read.  It would be nice if you left a comment or two...

I had a great day off Friday!  I went out to "Little Washington" where my favorite NY pizza is made, and I ordered my "bad breath" special--garlic and onions--no tomato sauce which I think is what was giving me a hard time in my previous pizza attempts.  It also might have been the bread--the LaBella pizza is so thin that you can actually see through the crust in spots!  It was crispy and delicious, and the one slice I had didn't make me sick at all.  I brought the rest home and will freeze it for future meals!

Driving out to Washington, I decided to let my iPhone lead the way, and it took me into town a different way.  Lots of country back roads, which were just lovely on the chilly but sunny fall day.  It gave me time to think about this change in my life and how I keep trying and learning.  Sometimes I'm sorry--however briefly--that I did this.  Why?  Because this is a lifelong situation--I will never be able to down an entire bottle of water, no matter how thirsty I am.  (And yes, I miss not being able to do that, as weird as it sounds.) And because food bores the crap out of me these days.  I eat because I have to, not because something looks good or sounds good or even smells good.  

And as the holidays approach--holidays that have always been associated with EATING--I am reminded that I can't eat.  Not like I used to.  Not at all.  I'm going to be alone for Thanksgiving--it's just not enough time to go home.  I can't eat much, so there's NO sense in even trying to cook for myself. 

I don't really regret having the surgery...not really.  I feel better every day...physically better and emotionally more comfortable in my own skin.  It's just a period of adjustment, and I'm not going to lie to you--or to myself.  While I have those moments of regret, this was without a doubt the best thing I've ever done for myself.

While I was waiting for my pizza (they were super busy), I walked down Main Street in Washington and found The Inner Banks Artisans Center.  Wow!  Amazingly beautiful things--pottery, jewelry, paintings--all that beauty under one roof!  I found two gorgeous pairs of earrings and spent that $50 gift card that I've been carrying for months!  I tell you this not to brag about buying yet MORE earrings, but because I had no trouble walking down the block to the Artisans center from LaBella.  Six months ago, I don't know if I would have even TRIED to take that walk, let alone accomplished it with only minimal pain!

So...I face the weekend ready to battle those doubts when they rear their ugly heads.  And I continue to write--I'm going to make that NaNoWriMo deadline!  Enjoy your Saturday, everyone! And leave a comment, would you?  Please?