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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The Confidence Game

I had a job interview yesterday.  It went pretty well, but truthfully, it was in an outlying area where I'm not sure I'd like to teach.  But...I need a job, so if they offer, I may take it.

I went to the interview feeling fully confident.  I had on my "power panties" and everything!  My "power panties" are a pair of hot pink panties that, no matter how staid the rest of my outfit, remind me that I "pop" with color! You know how politicians and businessmen wear "power ties"?  Same idea!

Other than the first two days after finding out I'd been laid off, I've been pretty confident about finding another job.  After all, I applied to five schools and immediately had two phone calls and interviews.  I haven't heard anything from either of those schools--and I know, it hasn't been a week, but it's still disheartening.  And yesterday afternoon, I hit a wall of despair.  I felt lost.  My confidence was gone.  I suddenly felt unemployed and worthless! So much of my self-image is identified by my role as a teacher.  I've always known that, but to be unemployed...wow.  It didn't help that I signed up for unemployment benefits.  I have NEVER in my life collected unemployment, and I've been working since I was 17 years old.

But I'm blessed with great friends who are super supportive.  Kevin could sense I was down through my text messages, so he called and gave me the support I needed.  I stopped feeling sorry for myself, and I applied to FIVE more schools.  Five more, including one that's looking for an English/Yearbook teacher.  (I've done yearbook for the last eight years.)  Sounds almost tailor-made for me.  And once again, my confidence was restored.

As much as Kevin's words soothed (and they did), and as much support as I've received from others, my confidence didn't come from them.  It came from within.  It came when I took action.  I took control and DID something about the situation.  I've always been fiercely independent--and taking action was the first step in taking back some control.

Martha had to cancel our trip to King's Dominion, so I'm hanging around the house this morning and may be seeing her for lunch this afternoon.  I was really disappointed that we had to cancel, but who knows?  Maybe I'm supposed to be home to field a call or email for another interview?!  Have a terrific Tuesday!

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