Okay...grammatically, it's "it wasn't I", but you didn't know that, did you? And I hate sounding arrogant and pretentious when it comes to grammar, and "it wasn't I" just sounds soooo snooty!
But I digress. The title refers to a little "problem" I thought I had. This surgery has changed me dramatically--in a multitude of ways. For example, I don't crave sweets like I used to--instead, I love spicy food. I crave sauces and spices and savory foods. Things are different. (By the way, it's ten months TODAY, and I've lost 118 pounds!) 118 pounds! Of course things are different. So when Whit and I were having um...well, um--gee, how do I say this...um..performance issues, I thought that maybe that part of my life was over. I just didn't respond to him in a familiar way--even when he kissed me. How do you talk to your doctor...or ANYONE else, for that matter...about such a subject? So I didn't talk to anyone about it; instead, I merely accepted the fact that that ship had sailed. OMG! Was I wrong!
Last night, I went to see the new Adam Sandler movie with Kevin and one of his friends. It was not a great movie--I've never been a big fan of sophomoric humor, but I loved spending time with him. Afterward, we went and shared an order of chicken wings--yes, I eat such things, but only 3 or so. Actually, I usually stop at 2, but these were delicious! Anyway, we had a great time with each other again. It's the easiest time I've ever spent with anyone. Truly.
When Kevin kissed me good night at my car, I almost fell over. Literally. My knees were jelly! And no, I wasn't drinking--ice water is my drink of choice these days, especially when we were in Raleigh and I had to drive an hour! I am thrilled to report that there is NOTHING wrong with me or my response system when the RIGHT stimulation is applied! Sighhhh. (And yes, that was closer to a purr than a sigh, but you get my point...)
Things at school are really tough right now; no one has contracts and we have a feeling that a LOT of people are going to lose their jobs...myself included. The "not knowing" is killing me, and the entire faculty is trying to be optimistic but there WILL be blood...and I'm terrified it's going to be mine. But if it is, it is. I have a Master's degree; I should be able to find another teaching job someplace! And I'm going to look in Raleigh. I've been spending a lot of time there lately anyway, and since that's where Kevin is, I'll probably be spending a LOT more. Still, I wish I had another job lined up just in case...