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Thursday, December 8, 2011

Please Don't Say It!

Wednesday started off well enough.  I stopped at Sheetz to get a bottle of water and a salad with grilled chicken for lunch.  It isn't great, but it's fast and not terrible for "gas station" food.  Every month, Sheetz sends a email offering one free item.  This month's item is a candy bar--a Three Musketeers.  I picked it up today, not for myself because eating sugar doesn't agree with me at ALL, but because next week, we're doing Secret Santa at school, and I thought that I'd give it away.

During small talk with the cashier, I mentioned that I didn't eat candy, and she said she didn't either.  That's when I told her that I had had gastric bypass surgery in August.  She surprised me when she said she had it, too!  Now this woman is probably 5'5", about 2.5 inches taller than I.  She said at her heaviest, she weighed 325.  (More than I did, but that's ALL I'm going to say on that subject!)  She's now down to about 140 and looks WONDERFUL!  She said she had the surgery in 2005--a real success story. It was so encouraging to hear about her success.

It's great for me to meet people like that.  I was buoyed by her story until I spoke to my former sister-in-law tonight.  Kathleen is a dietitian who, in one part of her job, works with gastric bypass patients.  After we had talked about other things, she asked how I was, and I told her that I'm feeling great and that I've lost 62 lbs.  Instead of congratulating me, she proceeded to tell me how so many of the patients she sees "stretch" their pouches and "gain all their weight back".

The fact that she felt the need to tell me this PISSED ME OFF.  Okay, so she's probably concerned for me because she's seen some people fail.  But a) there's NO way people are putting on ALL the weight they lost, and b) it's not EVERY one who's ever had this surgery, and c) that's THEIR issue, not MINE.

I sent her an email and told her that I wish she'd refrain from saying such things because they are discouraging and hurtful.  We have a good enough relationship--I think--that she'll understand my position.  I hope she does, but even if she doesn't, I HAD to tell her to stop it.  I have had SO MANY people tell me about the FAILURES they've seen.  And it HURTS and ANGERS me.  I'm really not sure why people feel the need to dwell on the negative...human nature, I guess.  But it's like telling a cancer treatment patient about all the people who DIE from the frigging disease.  How is THAT helpful??? 

SO...if you know someone who's had this surgery and has put all of his or her weight back on, keep it to yourself.  PLEASE.  I don't want to hear it.  I only care about how *I* am doing at this point--I only care about MY weight loss and how *I* feel.  Maybe you think that's selfish--I call it self-preservation. Have a THOUGHTFUL Thursday, everyone!


  1. Jeez. I agree. I really don't like when people rain on your parade. When people at work hear about my program there are lots of people who encourage me, and then there are those "Debbie Downers" who say negative things. They won't be saying anything to us, when we look as fabulous as we are on the inside! :)

  2. Thank you, Thaoie, I can ALWAYS count on you for support!!

  3. Granted, in the 6/2 years since my surgery I have gained back about 40 lbs BUT I'm still 60+ lbs LESS than my original weight. I was NOT made to be the size 2 I had gotten down to so some gain was expected and needed.
    Yes, I need to exercise but I drive over 2 hrs a day which eats up available time for such. And yes, I make some food choices that aren't ideal but I'm working to lose some of that extra weight now to get back to a good comfortable spot. It's MUCH easier to do at THIS size compared to when I was heavier.
    I compeletely understand what you mean about folks telling you horror stories. People do the SAME thing about childbirth labor and how horrible it was - why do people purposely TRY to scare others to death??? Geeeeeeeez.....
    My surgery made my life better and I, as you know, will gladly support and assist anyone in that option if it could be of benefit to them.
    Keep up the great work, believe in the choices you make and know that those of us who have "been there, done that" smile when we read your updates!