It's New Year's Eve. As a younger person, this was THE night for me, when I hated it if I didn't have some kind of plans. Today, plans--or the lack thereof--don't even concern me. It's funny--but when you live your life like every day is New Year's, every day is a chance to start over, you don't need a countdown or ball drop to make it special!
Still, I wanted to address the fact that this is New Year's Eve by discussing what's different today from years past. The first and most obvious thing is that I'm 77 pounds lighter than I was at this time last year. Seventy-seven pounds! The average 5th grader weighs between 73 and 75 pounds. I've lost a FIFTH GRADER! Remarkable! I feel so much better--I have more energy, my knees hurt less, I'm more confident, I'm aware of bony protuberances. Seventy-seven pounds!
It's also the first New Year's Eve that I'm single in four years. Funny how I remember every New Year's Eve for the past four years, although they weren't that momentous. We just got take-out, either Thai, Chinese or pizza and sat in bed watching Ryan Seacrest. Nothing special and yet at the time, it felt like it was. In hindsight, I can see that my ex was fattening me up, making sure I wasn't going to start the new year an ounce lighter.
And this is probably the first New Year's Eve in my life when I haven't made any "resolutions" only to break them a few weeks into the new year. I don't need to make any special resolutions just because it's December 31st! I am on the right track now--and don't have any plans to slow down until my body is ready to do so!
So my pants size has dropped from a 22/24 to a 16 (which is not at all tight, I might add) and in tops, I've gone from a 2X or 3X to a XL. But more important than sizes is my self-concept. Having the surgery is second only to going back to school when I was 30 on the list of the best things I've ever done for myself. Of course, breaking up with James is third on that same list! (lol) I also want to add that as I make progress, I am growing less and less afraid about "putting all the weight back on". I've handled my demons and am ready for all the joy that I know life has in store for me.
I had a date yesterday--we went to lunch where we shared an entree and then to a movie. I had fun, and I may even see him again, unlike the "octopus" from a few weeks ago. (By the way, he called me while I was in NY, but I didn't take or return the call. The man obviously cannot take a hint!) Still, I do enjoy my own company enough to know that if I don't see him again, I'll be fine! Great, even! :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment