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Friday, May 4, 2012

Stupid Cupid...and A Busy Weekend

It's finally Friday! Yay!  I saw this picture on a former student's Facebook page and had to steal it!
Love this!  And yeah, I'm tired of Cupid--he needs to leave me alone for a while!  Did you ever THINK you were in love but in retrospect realize that you tried to make yourself feel things you weren't feeling?  When I first met Whit, he was nice enough, but I didn't think we had any chemistry.  By chemistry, I mean that mysterious "clicking" that happens when you meet someone--the je ne sais quoi. (That's French for "I don't know what").  We had FUN together--I mean, he's got a great sense of humor, and we were always laughing, but when it was time for things to get serious, it was evident that there was something missing.  But I tried to dismiss that thought, tried to ignore the fact that things weren't so great once we scratched the surface of the relationship.

I did that with my weight, too.  Before the surgery, I told myself that I was okay at my weight--that my blood pressure wasn't bad, that my heart was healthy, that if people didn't like my size, it was THEIR problem, not mine.  My mom (and I'm sure other people in my life) thought that I was a happy, confident fat woman.  I wasn't.  For years, I walked around lying to myself--and others--about who I was beneath the surface.

Because I have experience with believing what I want to believe, I know that the mind can play powerful tricks on us.  When I was married, I made all kinds of excuses for our relationship's problems and kept waiting for things to "get better"--for EIGHT years.  With James, I did the same thing, but for a shorter period of time.  Now, with Whit, I ended things before the lies could continue any further.  Four months was enough.  I'm encouraged that I'm learning.  Of course, ideally, I wouldn't lie to myself at all, but...at least I'm getting the point sooner!

I have a busy weekend ahead of me--college graduation means baby birds are moving on!  Tomorrow is Martha's graduation from Peace College in Raleigh, and she'd like me to be there.  Trevor graduated today from ECU in Greenville and wanted me to be there, but it's a work day and I don't have any more personal time!  However, I am going to take him out to dinner on Sunday in celebration.  Tomorrow night is prom--originally, Whit and I were supposed to go.  My first reaction was to skip it all together, but I may go for a while tomorrow.  We'll see how things go in Raleigh.

Have a fabulous Friday--and enjoy the weekend.  Again, thanks for stopping by--I really do appreciate your support!  Oh...and did you know that today is STAR WARS day?  "May the Fourth be with you!"  lol..sorry...I just LOVED that!

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