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Friday, January 13, 2012

It's Complimentary!

I received plenty of really positive feedback about the haircut at school yesterday.  Even my boys said nice things about it!  (Except for one who said I look like a troll, but I guess you can't make everyone happy! lol!)

I've never been one to accept compliments graciously.  I always would "explain" or try to "rationalize".  "Oh, this shirt?  Thanks, but I got it at Walmart."  Or "Smart?  Well, I guess it's just that I have a good memory..." If someone complimented me, I always managed to "discount" the compliment by the time I was done.  "Oh, well, thanks, but it's really nothing..." I think you get the idea.

Why haven't I been able to accept compliments?  Why not just say "thank you" and move on?  Why have I felt the need to "explain" or use humor to "deflate" the compliment?  Low self-esteem.  I think that, at least in part, it comes from spending so much of my life overweight.  I never felt deserving of compliments, even though I knew--at least on some level--that people don't offer compliments freely, that I must've been doing something "right" to have received the compliment in the first place.

I've made a conscious effort to change all that.  Now when people compliment me, my hair, my clothing, my weight loss, I try to stop at "thank you".  There's no need to qualify or rationalize or explain away.  "Thank you" is all that's required when someone says something complimentary.  Try it.  Just say "thank you."  Not "Oh, this old thing?"  Or "I just got lucky..." or any other dismissive comment. Think of it--you're actually insulting both yourself and the person offering the compliment when you try to "qualify" it.

We all have something wonderful to offer; we are all smart, attractive, special. We should accept that graciously.  (That's your cue--say "thank you", and have a fantastic Friday!)

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