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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Sidelines? Or Center Field?

Before my surgery, I sat and watched life go by.  Now I'm in the middle of it.  It took guts on my part, but I've never shied from a challenge.  More than eight years ago, I moved to NC from NY with nothing but my two dogs and the hope that I could make this place home.  I knew no one, and to be honest, I spent the first several (six or eight, at least) weekends in tears wondering why I had made such a foolish move.  And then I stopped feeling sorry for myself, filled my gas tank and went out exploring.  Before long, NC felt like a home away from home.  It's only taken about eight years, but now NC feels like home while NY feels like a home away from home!

When I decided to have the gastric bypass surgery, it was without hesitation.  I was ready.  I did it for myself and thought to hell with my detractors.  When my fiance, whom I believed loved me, said that he didn't know if he could be attracted to me if I lost the weight, I didn't even consider canceling the surgery.  I did consider breaking off the engagement, although it took nearly a month before I actually did. 

What a difference five months makes.  In five short months, I've lost nearly 80 pounds.  I have met a wonderful man who makes me laugh and who makes me feel beautiful and desirable.  I have a new car, and I walk without a cane and with less pain.  In just five short months.

When your all-too-brief time on earth is over, will you regret what you've done or what you've failed to do?  I think that most people regret what they've not done.  But I'm planning on not regretting a thing.  I have taken those leaps of faith--generally with wonderful results.  I have traveled, although not as much as I'd like--still, I went to Australia and England and France by myself.  I have jumped in the car and have driven to Florida alone, and it's nothing for me to drive to New York on my own--four times a year!  I have loved--sometimes with painful consequences, but I've done it, never the less.  I have laughed.  I've written a novel--actually two. 

I've taken risks...and reaped the rewards.  I've been hurt, but I'm still standing.  But what about you? Is life a spectator sport for you or are you out in the muck, getting dirty but experiencing all the joy and pain life has to offer?  Let me paraphrase the question that Janet Jackson asked, "What have you done for you lately?"

Have a tranquil Tuesday, everyone!