Sunday night a friend told me that his two daughters saw my "before" and "after" photos when he was reading the blog. Their reaction? "Wow!" He seemed to be happy that that was their reaction, so after I talked to him, I went to the blog and stared at the two pictures.
When I spoke to him yesterday, I told him the truth: I don't see it. I don't see anything worth a "wow", anyway. The weight loss isn't real to me still...I guess. He told me that I'm "too close to it". And maybe that's what it is. I guess that our self-images are distorted, distorted by our opinions and the opinions of those around us. I certainly never saw myself as large as I was--and I guess I don't see myself as "small" (a very relative term) as I am now.
I'm sure that many of you are wondering how I could possibly lose eighty pounds in five months and then "not see it." In a way, I do see it. I put on clothes from last winter that are impossibly large. Sunday, I put on one of my favorite sweaters, and when I did, I thought it fit. Later, at the movies, I realized that the shoulders of this sweater came down nearly to my elbow! It didn't fit...not even close. So I have to admit that I have lost weight, but I certainly don't find it "wow-worthy".
It's Spirit Week at school. Because we have a newly formed football team, we have Homecoming during basketball season. Our Homecoming is Friday, and the days leading to Homecoming are themed. Today is "Tacky Day", tomorrow is "Twin Day", Thursday is "Blast from the Past" and Friday is "Blue & Gold Day." It's a crazy week that almost always feels longer than four days! The teachers are encouraged to participate with the themes to support the kids, but I have no idea what I'm going to wear for Tacky Day. For Twin Day, Lateisha and I have the same purple top, so she and I will go as "twins". We'll wear jeans and blue shoes, silver hoop earrings and call ourselves twins, even though she is African-American! For the "Blast from the Past" day, I have a "Juliet" dress, so I'll try that on and see if it fits. (It did 80 pounds ago, so who knows? I've dried it in the dryer, so maybe...) I need a new t-shirt for Blue & Gold Day--the only "Prep" wear I have is my fleece (which is too big) and my new hoodie, which is too warm for the gym, which is always too hot, especially during a crowded event like Homecoming.
I hope that you have a terrific Tuesday...I hope I do, too!