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Sunday, January 8, 2012

The Linus Syndrome...

In Charles M. Schulz's beloved comic strip, Peanuts, the character of Linus is happiest when he's holding tightly to his blanket, which gives him a sense of security and peace. Wouldn't life be easier if we all had a blanket we could cling to--a talisman that would bring us a sense of peace, calm and above all, security?

No matter who we are, how confident we may appear to be, we all suffer with moments of insecurity. We are always competing to be thinner, smarter, prettier, more fashionable, more successful...always. We may have some moments when we feel good about who we are and what we have to offer--but there are also those moments when our security is shaken.  I have a former student who is brilliant, and yet she seems surprised whenever she gets an "A" or some other accolade.  Look at Hollywood.  Brilliant actors are almost always surprised when they win awards, even though they have been identified as the best of the best on other occasions.  Everyone suffers from insecurity.  Everyone.  

Lately, I've been feeling very confident about myself.  My life is going so very well right now--I'm happy in my job, happy with my weight loss, happy with my health, happy in my social life.  I've met a nice man who makes me laugh, and yet the other day when I received an email from him rather than a text,(his usual way to contact me) I immediately feared that his email was to end our budding relationship.  He had given me no indication that he would have made such an effort, but I still dreaded reading his email because I was certain it was going to be bad news.  (It wasn't. He had left his phone at home, so he was just letting me know he couldn't text me that morning.)  Is the insecurity in this new relationship just an old habit dying hard?  Or is it something more?  

Are we insecure because we have reason to be?  Is it merely habit?  Or is it the result of being beaten down again and again?  I think that it's the latter coupled with the need to self-protect.  If we tell ourselves that he's not going to like us, that we're not going to get that "A", that someone else is going to win the award, we won't be disappointed, right?  I used to say, "Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed."  Pretty sad, right?  Today, I think that they who expect it all are the ones who are blessed, for they will at least get something!

Have a super Sunday, everyone...I'm going to spend a large part of the day with my new friend--and I'm expecting to have a great time!

(Oh, and yes, there's a new photo on the site right below my "before" photo.  It was taken 1/7/12 in Garner, NC.)

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