After yesterday's post, I cried. I didn't sleep well. I went to school and cried some more. (It didn't help that my throat is so sore that I felt like I swallowed razor blades!) Well, again, what a difference a day makes!
After a few texts from me, Buddy sent me a text yesterday morning that explained some of Monday night with a cryptic, "Did not feel up to facing my feelings." I had things I wanted to say, so I wrote him a long full-page letter. He responded with a REALLY nice letter and we ended up making plans for dinner so that we could talk about it. And the feelings he didn't want to face? He loves me. (Although we are avoiding the L-word [or L-bomb as one of his daughters says]).
Okay--here comes the part about do as I say and not as I do. I gave him an ultimatum--he could either have ME or have the other women, but not both. Fortunately for my heart, it went MY way. I hate ultimatums, and the truth is, you have to be willing to lose. I was. I was ready to walk out of that restaurant (and his life) if he decided that was his only option. I am very grateful that things worked out the way I wanted them to, but it could have gone the other way! Therefore, I do not recommend--at all--giving an ultimatum unless you are completely--and I do mean completely--ready to lose everything.
My proposition? I told him that if he wanted ME that he had to forget all other women and spend time with just me for six weeks. After the Elton John concert, if he wants to be with other women, I'll let him do so with my blessings. But for the next six weeks, he's all mine. We'll see where things are in March, but I do like this man SO much! It is scary, but this man is someone with whom I share so much. We finish each other's sentences. We laugh every time we're together. I can understand why it would scare him. It's like a drug that magnifies and intensifies everything else in life!
I am proud of myself and that I stuck to my guns in this situation. And I'm so very happy that this went MY way, but I know it could've gone in the other direction--and I was ready (painful as it would have been) to deal with it.
It seems that this blog has been more about my dating drama than my weight loss, and for that I apologize. Of course, just having dating drama is a definite side effect of the weight loss. When I was my former size, it was amazing just to have a date!
LOL, you crack me up! Giving an ultimatum is definitely a scary thing, but you can't help the way you feel. I'd respect someone more if they would tell me right where they're coming from, and you did exactly that! Having feelings is SO scary. You're basically handing someone over you heart when they have the ability to destroy it, and TRUSTING them not to! You know me, I don't give up when it comes to love in any type of relationship. Taking risks is what the new Rhonda is all about baby! Yes it is scary, but it will lead you to so many other possibilities!
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